Happy Holidays kids!

We've been off the blogosphere for a while, but hey, these things happen. At any rate. Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you are all enjoying your break and the holiday spirit. And just because it's my favorite Christmas song (and from my favorite Christmas album no less!), here you go. As it says on the actual page it comes from, it's meant to be listened to and not watched. Laziness by the person posting the "video"? Perhaps or yes, but what can you do. Till next time folks.

A few things going on in my head...

I thought I was through with the OU/TX game, but I worked at the other job last night and my boss produced this gem:

Recognize the person on the far right standing in front of the Big Dog Daddy? That's right kids, it's WWE announcer and barbecue enthusiast, Jim Ross himself. While the Daddy carries himself with the quiet dignity embodied by the raised index finger, Ross displays the excitable nature of the true fan. "DeMarco Murray has just layed the smack down on the Texas defense! Good God almighty, they've been broken in half with that vile chairshot/run from DeMarco! Look at what he's done to Mrs. Brown's little boy!" Truly and sincerely, cheers to you JR.

In other news, you might have noticed Campus Corner has been marauded by all your favorite Greek squads. Nothing warms my cold, robot heart like school spirit sweeping through the university and manifesting itself on the windows of local drinking establishments. It's either that or all the hot chicks that clearly want to have my babies. I haven't decided which it is yet.

If you're one of the 5 people in our great state that haven't seen the new Fowler commercial, well, I guess you're in luck. I've traditionally hated Fowler commercials, going all the way back to the whole "Flower Honda" campaign from years gone by. Oh yay, there's a little girl that can't say Fowler, but says flower instead. Isn't that cute? Disregard the fact that she looks older than the age of 2 when that type of behavior is acceptable and is therefore retarded (as we all know, Diffie been running with this formula for years, much to the chagrin of metro audiences everywhere. learn to talk please. thanks and good day). Things didn't get much better when Chad Stevens became the face of the Fowler family of car dealerships. The only person worse than him was the Big Red guy, and we all know what happened to him. Until this past weekend, no one had been able to challenge the dominance of Tom Park during his Lynn Hickey Dodge heyday. Welcome, Chad. Welcome to the pantheon of local television celebrities (at least for now. based on your past crimes, you are on a trial membership. don't f*ck it up).



And that's it. Get out there an enjoy the weather. Or we will fight. Unless you are a lovely young lady. Then we will have a steak dinner. But everyone else...fisticuffs!

Gut-check Saturday was fun

Hey there! It's been a little while since we talked. I'm very sorry. Boyd Street's Texas Hate Week never really got off the ground in it's Interweb form and for that I also apologize. Thankfully, that idea still has some life left in it. I'm looking at you Stillwater. And your abortion of a football program you have up there (sorry, through an encounter with an OSU fan/alumnus last week, I have no state sympathy for your athletic squads for the next few months. call me after football season and maybe we can talk). Moving on to happier things.

Well, Boomer indeed fellow Sooner fans. Looking back, it was an excellent game that I will surely be watching again for the next several days. However, I would be lying if I said I didn't hope we would blow them out as the game went on. OU football is the only team that I follow where I would be more than happy with the Sooners blowing whoever out. Seriously, my heart just can't take close games week in and week out. If I wasn't a smoker and passionate drinker, then maybe, but not in addition to. Hear that Bob Stoops? Think of my children that may or may not exist!

Before turning my attention to other things, here are my final observations of the Red River Shootout and a few other games of note:

-Coming off what, at the time, looked like a season derailing loss, the Sooners, and most importantly, young Sam Bradford, responded to critics and the nation in tremendous fashion. The fact that it came at the Longhorns expense makes it even better.

-While the person I was debating Saturday disagreed, I believe the Sooners front seven played fairly well. McCoy was sacked 4 times, and Texas never really got the running game off the ground. The secondary was a bit spotty in coverage at times, but when you consider the explosiveness of the Texas offense, I think shouldn't be a huge concern. Does the secondary concern me a little? Yes. Are they and the rest of the defense a bit too aggressive from time to time? Yes. But overall, this is arguably the most talented defense ever assembled during the Stoops era. Whether they live up to that potential play to play or game to game is yet to be determined, but still, I can live with the effort they put out on Saturday.

-I question Mack Brown's decision to leave John Chiles out of the gameplan (relatively speaking). Chiles, like any other mobile quarterback OU faces, terrifies me. Sure, he's not that great of a passer, but it's just another weapon to have on the field. I'm probably overvaluing him, but still, he's a scary young player.
-Missouri stomped Nebraska. Missouri scares the sh*t out of me. More on that this Friday.

-LSU probably moved Florida out of the national championship picture. There's still a lot of football to play and it's been a crazy season already, but Florida was OU's biggest obstacle among the one-loss teams, so I don't mind passing them by. However, LSU, and specifically Les Miles proved why I don't think they'll run the table in the SEC. Miles (just like he did when he was at OSU) coaches with his c*ck. The only difference now is that he has far superior talent than he did when he was in Stillwater, allowing him to get away with some of it. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you despise Miles and LSU), he's not going to be able to get away with going for it at seemingly ridiculous times and the completely ludicrous challenge on Florida's kick return (seriously, this one pissed me off. granted, I wasn't watching the game in HD, but I saw no conclusive evidence that the return man stepped out of bounds. and the fact that it was for 7 freaking yards and LSU's last timeout amazed me further) every week. Against what is perceived as rational thought, LSU prevailed against Florida, but mark my words, at some point, Les Miles is going to cost his team a game.

-ZOMG! Stanford beat USC in the biggest upset EVAH! That might be a bit much, but let's face it, Stanford, since Ty Willingham left, has really, really sucked. I'm quite upset that they only fell to 10. Perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to judge considering our short fall after Colorado, but come on. It's Stanford for Christ's sake. This might just be me being reactionary, but I kind of question them being ranked in front of Arizona State, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, Va Tech, and mabe even Florida. Sure, USC more talented than those teams, but we know that's not what the polls are about anyway.

Ok, friends. Time to watch Cowboys play the Bills in a Monday night game that would have been better say, 10-15 years ago. At least I hope. That would be demoralizing if my Cowboys lost tonight.

Testicle Tuesday!

Here's a quick update on yesterday's post. The national media and numerous Bear fans are calling for Brian Griese or Kyle Orton and his neckbeard to supplant the Sex Cannon as fearless gunslinger of (S)TD's in the Chicago backfield. Rexy will not be like you and take it lying on his back. He's no p*ssy! Read his scathing response to all the non-believers!

Also, it appears that Jake Delhomme, and to a lesser extent, Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers want me to man-crush on them. And eat Bojangle's chicken and biscuits. Frankly, I have no problem with either since Smith is on my fantasy team and Delhomme has classic All-American boy good looks. Being a "Defender of Fresh Baked Biscuits" helps too. Plus, I like fried chicken and fresh baked biscuits so how can I lose. That's right, I can't. Enough foreplay, here's your link.

Interested in buying a new car? Sure you are, head up to fake Baltimore and talk to these guys (NSFW):



Till tomorrow friends.

Casual Monday

Yes, OU sodomized Tulsa and their Pac-Man video game offense with bestial vigor Friday. If this continues and EDSBS doesn't coin a "werewolf with a chainsaw for a d*ck" phrase, a la LSU's defense, for the entire Sooner squad, I for one will be very upset. In my head and in my pants. Believe it, motherf*#!ers. I think Sam Bradford and I should get an apartment together.

Sticking with football, being a huge Romosexual myself, I was very happy with the Cowboys' decimation of the Chicago Bears (just to be clear, I hold no ill will toward the Bears. I just enjoy watching Rex Grossman try to play quarterback) last night. Rextasy, try as he might, did not come all over the Dallas Cover 2. Mostly because Dallas doesn't play a Cover 2, but who needs details? Not Sexy Rexy. And speaking of the Bears, Tommie Harris is having an MRI done on his knee today following last night's MCL injury. Seriously, Dan Cody is on the IR again, Dvorcek blew his ACL in Week 1, Andre Woolfolk is probably injured, and Mark Clayton is having an ankle problem. What the hell is the deal with former Sooners in the NFL? Is Peterson's kneecap going to sprout wings and fly half-way down the field by Week 8? At this rate would it even be surprising?

Moving on to the world of fashion. I think leopard print flats are stupid. In fact, most flats look ridiculous because they remind me of pool shoes. Jesus, why do I even know what flats are? Someone kick me in the balls just to make sure I still have them. I am, however, a big fan of crotchless skirts.

I have nothing else to add at the moment, so why don't we do a little link dumping:

-While she wasn't drinking her breakfast, the devilishly charming bee-spot came across a nice little video of Mike Gundy that would make Les Miles jealous. I have to hand it to him, as much as I detest our brothers to the north (and that hideous abortion of a color they pass as orange in Stillwater), this made me kind of like him. The article in question can be found here (this whole thing is blowing up all over the sports blogosphere at the moment, so it takes a minute to load, but it's well worth it. Thanks Newsok.com; glad to see you guys are prepared when more than three 16-year-olds want to look at pictures of Amy McRee).

-In case you weren't paying attention, the swinging lads at The Lost Ogle rounded out their list of Oklahoma embarrassments last week. They're now embarking on an even greater endeavor. Also, since they watch the local news for me, I must credit them with my current crush on Fox 25's Lauren Richardson. I've decided she and I are going to get married on the beach and have lots of quarter-Chinese babies. I think I'm going to write her a love letter tomorrow. Our star-crossed love will prevail!

-Next time your twig and berries/va-jay-jay wants some company, please open with one of these lines. Especially if I'm around. Personally, I like to open with No. 50, "This party reminds me of 9/11" or No. 75, "Can you believe the price of abortions these days? Honestly." Then after a few minutes of delightful conversation, I close with, "I'd like to spend the night with you. Romantically." What can I say, I run a first-class operation.

-Wesley Snipes is a lot of things. Action hero, former tax evasion expert, martial artist, and [should be] award winning philosopher. Seriously, if I can ever find a way, as referenced in the article, to incorporate "some motherf*#!ers are always trying to ice skate uphill," my life may be considered a success.

-Finally, I was perusing the interweb videos this morning and found this re-cut of a scene from arguably my favorite TGIF show ever, Step by Step. This got me thinking. The whole "Dear Sister" fad was started by the season 2 finale of The OC. The OC was f*#@king awesome. Especially season 2. We witnessed the emasculation of Ryan; the rushed but boner-inducing Marissa lesbian turn with a wildly underrated Olivia Wilde; the outstandingly cheesy and ludicrous Seth + Summer Spider-Man kiss; and of course, the aforementioned finale, seen here in glorious low-definition:



Awesome. I think I need to go buy Season 2 immediately. Till tomorrow folks!

Killing is my business, and business is good!

While all the high school coaches are throwing a pity party (and rightfully so, I might add), there will be a football game going on in Tulsa. While I appreciate good defensive games from time to time, I would be a dirty, dirty liar if I said the offensive firepower on the field tonight didn't make me happy in my pants. Two of the top four offenses in the nation! In former Wishbone country no less!

Without a doubt, this is the best offense OU has faced in the young season (and might be the best one they face all year). While the Sooners are no strangers to the spread offense, given it's introduction to Norman in 1999 by Mike Leach which lead to it sweeping over the Big 12, few have seen the type that Tulsa offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn employs. It utilizes a lot of pre-snap movement, shotgun, and moves at a frenetic pace. The most important aspect being the no-huddle approach which leaves defenses little time to set up and swap personnel.

By that same token, this will be by far, the best defense Tulsa faces this year. The second stingiest in the country if my facts are right. All the defensive speed on the field should make the insane Golden Hurricane offense a little less imposing.

Sure, OU has already dispatched the North Texas spread and Miami's shotgun based passing attack, but North Texas was debuting a new offensive philosophy, and Miami, despite their decimation of Coach Fran last night, still kind of suck on that end of the ball. While they might not have Miami's athletes, they have players in the program that fit their style of football. Not to be underestimated.

In the end, you never know what can happen when playing these feisty in-state rivals, but OU is just too good on either side of the ball. And if it degenerates into a shoot-out, the Sooner defense will still have more stops than their overly generous Tulsa counterpart. Here's a representation of what OU should do to all who commit the exercise in futility that is opposing the Emperor Stoops and his charges.

Secrets kill friendships

Like a good little half-Asian boy, I was walking to class this morning. On the way, I picked up a copy of The Daily, like most industrious college students do in the greater OU campus area. To my surprise, I found a story titled "Taxi cab confessions: Stay awake until 10." Why is this surprising you ask? Well, dear reader(s), follow along.

You see, the feature in the latest issue of Boyd Street (that came out 2 weeks ago) was about the goings on of Norman cab drivers. And it's sitting there, right next to the The Oklahoma Daily. Am I accusing The Daily of blatant theft of story ideas? No. Well, screw it, yes. Here at the magazine, we've let a lot of the shots taken at us from the direction of OU's student media slide. When they ripped up a bunch of our magazines and taped them to a toilet last year, we didn't do anything. When they scooped us on a story last year, what did we do? Not run the freaking story. It's really quite simple. I mean, what's the point? It's not like we're competing publications or anything. It's a magazine and newspaper for f*cks sake.

But, this young sirs and ma'ams is not cool. Getting scooped is just part of the business. This sh*t happens. Deal with it. To play devil's advocate, perhaps they didn't know about our feature. To which I say, bullsh*t. It's not possible. I've witnessed the hatred certain individuals at The Daily/Hub have for our little mag and know they would take any chance to bash it, as seen in the past. To say they were oblivious to Hunter's article is retarded. But hey, sh*t happens, water under the bridge. And hey, you have a paper that needs new content everyday, so sure, you might be running thin on ideas. Why run an article about taxi's during the first week of school when you have a flood of new freshman and returning, freshly minted 21 year olds when you can run it a month into the semester?

Because I have nothing else to add, take a peak at the future of the Oakland Raiders. JaMarcus who?

The decimation of Mormons

[For a recap of last night's birthday party madness, feel free to visit ABiS]

I'll be honest with you. I know jack sh*t about tomorrow's game. All I know is the last time I heard, the spread was anywhere between 48-51.5. That's just insane. Sure the Sooners have looked beyond sexy the last two weeks, but half a hundred? Really? Not saying that it can't happen, but seriously, that's a sick line. Yes, it should be a complete demolition of Utah State, but holy crap are we getting some respect.

Aside from a more in-depth preview of the game tomorrow, there are a few other games I would like to touch on. Unfortunately, this has been a busier day than usual, so I might have to hold off on it. I will however say this. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for OU to not break 50 tomorrow. The coaching staff might take tomorrow as an opportunity to work on the running game. Lost in the Oklahoma hype machine the past couple weeks has been the ground game being a little less overwhelming than originally thought. By no means have they been ineffective, and on the contrary, the chains have been moving on the legs of the backfield just as much as those of the receiving corp. More than anything, I'm just nitpicking here.

Perhaps I'll write something that digs a little deeper tonight. Depends on how strongly I hear the siren's song of delicious alcohol. Or I might just take it easy. But then again, who the hell do I think I am?!

Why are you watching TV and listening to the radio at the same time? Cause I like to party. (and what you might hear if Brothers had a jukebox)

That's right folks, the night has come. Boyd Street is turning the big ... 4 today. Hey! Only 21 years younger than me! Sh*t. Please feel free to join us at Brothers on Campus Corner tonight for some drinking and general chicanery. Festivities start at 9 tonight and end when I pass out on a parked car outside. Tell your friends and any morally liberal, vaginally-advantaged person you know.

In other news, I'm way too into the '80s. Especially with music. While I always enjoy it, regular listening rotation comes in cycles. Well, two days ago, the cycle began anew. Hey, sometimes Whitesnake just sneaks up on you. Given the state of things, Matt and I imposed our musical will on the jukebox at Louie's Too last night. If you were one of the lucky people there wondering why there were heartfelt lyrics and wailing guitar solos blasting through the speakers instead of Usher, that was us. The hall party is that way!

Some delightful 80's rock picks, from my pool of excellence to yours:

The Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane: One of the most underrated songs of the arena-rock era. Always overshadowed by Winds of Change, which is disappointing, but understood. Seriously, listen to that guitar riff and tell me you don't want to do something awesome.

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again: Some of you are so young your first exposure to this was in "Old School" and not Tawny Kittain in 1987. Sad. Sad indeed. Just look at the intensity!

Def Leppard - Photograph: Thought it was going to be "Pour Some Sugar On Me," huh? While it is probably their best work, this is a song that is too often forgotten among people who didn't live through the '80s. Listen up kiddies! And notice the cowbell!

Foreigner - Juke Box Hero: Tough pick between this and "Urgent." Some people don't remember that Foreigner was a pretty rockin' group before the "I've been waiting for a girl like you" era. Which will be covered in a power ballad section at some point down the road.

Journey - Don't Stop Believing: The Cadillac of 80's rock. Timeless and fantastic. While the rest of their catalog is just as outstanding, nothing beats this song. Musically, I feel this song was well before it's time and am very happy with the minor Journey renaissance the Sopranos started this summer. Admit it, if you're white, you know every word of this song and will drop everything when you hear it. You're doing it now!



Fun trip down memory lane, no? I just found out John (the boss) has the 80's Gold collection. Eight CDs! Children of the '80s rejoice! At any rate, that's all I got for the moment. I leave you with my favorite internet fad of all time and the powerful voice that goes with it. You can Rick Roll me whenever the hell you want.

Oh, and if you missed tonight's rockin' party, there will be more. Oh yes.

Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday!

Still looking for a worthwhile Tuesday night plan?

Why not stop by the Deli, where you can check out some great local bands for an even better cause.

Travis Linville, Mama Sweet, Camille Harp and Resident Funk will all be at the Deli Tuesday night starting at 9 p.m. to raise money for Kingfisher flood victims.

The cover is $10, and all of the proceeds from the door will be donated to the Kingfisher Salvation Army, then divided amongst the 130 families affected by the Aug. 18 flood.

“No one was prepared for this,” said event organizer and Kingfisher native Amie Stewart. “The people in Kingfisher that had the least now have nothing.”

The event will also host a raffle giving away more than $500 worth of gift certificates from local business’s like Othello’s, JR’s Barbecue and The Spirit Shop. Raffle tickets are $5 and will be donated to the victims.

For information on future fundraisers for the Kingfisher flood victims go to www.helpkingfisher.org.

OU vs. Miami (feat. a little college football No Pants Dance Party)

Once again, it's game time, b*tches! This week we are paid a visit from our old, fellow, yayo snorting arch-rivals from the '80s (you know, the decade you were barely alive in, you freshman bastards). In 1985, the Jailbirds last visit to Norman, threateningly-handsome Troy Aikman had his OU career ended when he suffered a broken leg on a hit delivered by Jerome Brown. This ushered in the era of Jamelle Hollieway and his fur coats. From 1985-87, OU was 33-3, with all three losses coming at the hands of the Hurricanes and their rap sheets. As an aside, the off-field rivalry is something to behold in retrospect. Miami. Truly the only program that could go toe-to-toe with us from a corruption and possible coke orgy perspective. Good times. On to the game.

The Sooners should win. I say again, we SHOULD win. OU is clearly the more talented team, and after one week, seem to have the offensive balance that the current incarnation of the 'Canes could only sex-dream of. BUT, the Miami defense is insane. Arguably better than ours. The 11 young men that will be lining up opposite new favorite sons Sam Bradford and DeMarco Murray are beyond legit. When you consider the fact that Bradford can't conceivably make it rain/torrential downpour all over the field like he did last week, the ground game becomes exponentially more important. Last year, Miami's defense allowed a ridiculous 2.3 yards per carry. You'd have an easier time nailing the hot girl under the protection of her two fat friends after the game on Campus Corner than effectively running against that (or you could have two VERY nice/horny wingmen sweep in with nachos and hamburgers, making your job easier and the point of my craptastic metaphor moot. It really is the only way).

Notable players: defensive end/monsters Calais Campbell and Kenny Phillips (there is talk that he is the best DB to ever don a Hurricane jersey, which is high praise considering Ed Reed was playing centerfield for them in the not-so-distant past) are both projected to be possible Top 10 picks in the NFL Draft next year.

As dominant and intimidating as their defense is, the Miami offense is basically the exact opposite. They just don't have the talent at the moment. The formerly highly-touted savior of "Quarterback U," Kyle Wright, makes Miami fans long for the comparative competence of Brock Berlin. Thus, coach Randy Shannon has handed the keys over to Kirby Freeman, who thus far, makes recently departed Georgia Tech field general, Reggie Ball, look more like Peyton Manning, and less like the throw-into-triple-coverage interception machine that he was. Freeman's ability to read a defense could make the Sex Cannon smile/orgasm. That said, the 'Canes do have a pair of excellent, young running backs in Javarris James (cousin of former 'Cane and current NFL studmuffin, Edgerrin James) and Graig Cooper who could wreck havoc if given the opportunity.

Rextasy (far right) is here, and he's dishing out throwgasms.

In summary, again, OU should walk away the with the 'W'. However, this is a Miami team that one takes lightly at his own risk. If the 'Canes defense comes to play and Freeman can keep the picks under 3, this could be a 14-10 slugfest, or worse, an orgy of field goals.

The underrated key to this game will be OU's defensive front seven. If they can contain the Miami ground game, this has the potential to get ugly. Arguably, the most important battle on the field will be waged between man-houses Phil Loadholt and the aforementioned Campbell (6-8, 350 lbs. and 6-8, 285 lbs. respectively). Loadholt has been able to get it done by simply overpowering his opponents in the past, which lead to a stunted development in his footwork. Lined up against a freak of nature with rare speed for a man his size, this could be an issue. The fact that Loadholt covers the young Sam's blindside makes this match-up even more important. The keys to this game lie with one of the oldest cliches in football: control the line of scrimmage = winning the game. Or as Merv Johnson would probably say, the team that scores the most points is gonna win this one, Bob. It's that easy.

Screw you James Marsden! I'm the new pride of Putnam City!

[Here's a link to a nice article in The Daily about the game. Coincidentally, it was written by a writer for Miami's student paper and not one of our writers. Weird.]

Moving on to the Boyd Street's first College Football No Pants Dance Party:

Let's take a peak at some of the other games on the schedule this weekend.

No.9 Virginia Tech at No.2 LSU:

LSU, like in the recent past, is a scary team this year. If this game were in Blacksburg, I might be inclined to go with the Hokies in this one, but it's not, so I can't. Compounding the fact that it's a road game, Va Tech's offense looked quite anemic last week, and the offensive line could do nothing to protect quarterback Sean Glennon from the vaunted Eastern Carolina pass rush. Both defenses are pretty stout, but the Tigers are just a bit better.

Matt Flynn might have had a nice game last week while aerially gangbanging perennial SEC doormat but socially progressive (we have a black coach ... in the SEC!) Mississippi St.; however, I still don't trust the guy. One thing the Hokies have in their favor though is English language rapist, Les Miles standing on the opposite sideline. Miles reactionary, tiny-penis-syndromed coaching style historically fares poorly against well-coached football teams, which is what Frank Beamer traditionally brings to the field. Still, LSU is simply a better team this year, and thus, will probably win the "Tragedy Bowl."

"Called control at points" if I've ever seen it.

No.19 TCU at No.7 Texas:
After struggling against Sun Belt juggernaut Arkansas St. last week (just so you know, Ark St. is not good), Mack "I'll answer that for Chris" Brown's boys face off against a pretty good Horned Frogs team. I hope the Longhorns lose. If Texas wins I hope the fans take turns raping one another with corndogs to celebrate. Either way, I win.

Florida Atlantic at Oklahoma State:

This is only on here because I hate OSU. After being dominated by a young Georgia team last week, Bobby Reid and the Cowboys should find a lot less resistance on their way to the endzone this weekend. After they win by 30 or 40+ points, OSU can go back to touting its offense on the SCHOOL'S WEBSITE as the best EVAH while the student population learns the pros and cons of corn growing with sprinklers vs. classic irrigation, and the fanbase can continue debating the advantages of sexing sheep vs. a more aggressive animal like a mountain lion.

Yeah. This will never happen.

Oregon at Michigan:

Bounce back game here. Michigan is not a bad team. A once overrated team perhaps, but they are far from awful. Unfortunately, Oregon runs a similar offense to Appalachian St. and has better athletes than the boys from North Carolina. According to MGoBlog, App. State ran the same zone read play a whopping 21 times last week because Michigan's defense couldn't stop it or adjust to it and the linebackers are apparently retarded.

And finally ...

Notre Dame at No.14 Penn St.:

Jimmy Clausen makes his starting debut against a solid, veteran Nittany Lion defense this week. You might remember Jimmy from his ludicrous recruitment last year, his being the golden child of the prestigious Clausen quarterbacking family, or maybe you fed him on a trip to Arbuckle wilderness:

The manliest way to show off championship jewlery. EVER.

As an aside, why does the media collectively ejaculate over him being a Clausen. His older brothers sucked. Why should he be any better? The favorite team of Touchdown Jesus sucked last week, so I envision them sucking this week too. It won't happen, but there is a legit possibility that The Irish could be 0-8 heading into November and their annual slaughter of Stanford and America's service academies. The moral of the story? God hates the Catholics.

Well, I certainly hope you stuck with me through that. Enjoy the weekend and the orgy of football that it will be!

[I'm a liar folks. This turned out to be more of a marathon post than I originally thought, and you probably are fed up with my debatable writing talents for the day. Dating guide on Monday or Tuesday. Bank on it, or I owe you alcohol.]

Apologies, and K-State makes me laugh (and kind of cry)

Sorry folks, no legit post today. Ending up a bit busier in these parts than originally anticipated, but what does that mean? It means next issue is going to be bigger and more awesome. So awesome in fact, that you might drown in the pool of excellence that will be pouring forth from the pages of the magazine. Also, that means you'll be getting a rare double post out of me tomorrow! I can tell you can't wait. Prepare yourself, you have a dating guide and business with Miami coming at you. Weiners and Hurricanes, people.

And just so I'm not leaving you completely hanging and wondering how you can get the last 30 seconds of your life back, here's the pregame video that will apparently be running prior to kickoff of our Big 12 colleagues, K-State's home games (run on sentences! I think. Meghan?) I swear to sweet Purple Jesus, if OU EVER makes and runs a video like this for home games I will pull my loyalties. Seriously, I'll switch to Arkansas full time.



I mean, come on. What year is this? That's supposed to pump up the crowd and not make them vomit? Well, it is Kansas so who knows. And K-State is, and has always, been a horrible ambassador for the color purple (This is what makes me kind of cry). For a full breakdown of this video, I hand you over to Swindle and Montana at EDSBS.

And just to clarify, this is Purple Jesus, who coincidentally, is a great addition to the color purple:


It may never catch on over at television, but goddammit if BDD over at KSK isn't a genius for bringing this new nickname into my life. Why couldn't someone around here have thought of that? Seriously. Oh yeah, if someone around here had done it they would have found out what Crucifixion + fire felt like. Or they might have just been given a bunch of dirty looks and severe tongue lashings (but not in a sexy way, right? right?). There really isn't any gray area, just either end of the extreme I think. Sorry, forgot where I was for a minute. Till tomorrow, friends!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Sorry for the tardiness in posting this week. I was going to handle some fantasy football business on Monday, but it's basically boring, and honestly, I decided to spend the day recovering from the weekend by playing some good ol' Warcraft. It was pretty uberleetsauce. Needless to say, a lot of people were roflstomped. You probably don't know what that means, but I assure you it's awesome.

Yeah, so it's Wednesday, and everyone has already talked about the spectacular weekend of college football. I'll refrain from adding my two big cents, because let's face it, you've probably heard it already.

Before I move on, however, I must throw this at you (for those who don't frequent EDSBS). In advance, apologies to the strapping young lads, Crimenotes and Flop, over at Cole Slaw. The two of you have undoubtedly seen this and given increasingly positive consideration to committing seppuku with a frisbee. We've all been there. Kind of. Well, maybe not like that, but damn close.


And how could I forget the Appalachian State video. After all it's "Hot! Hot! Hot!" Watch it and listen to the song. I dare you not sing it to yourself for no apparent reason in an hour:



For whatever reason, well actually because I couldn't fall asleep last night, I can't think of anything worthwhile, or potentially humorous (at least to me) to add. To make me feel better about this, how about a video of the Hipster Olympics:

Have a good hump day. I'll have something that's not mindless drivel for you all tomorrow. Of course, I'm talking about my pet project...The Freshman Guide to Dating Other Heterosexual Males! Tell you friends! And your moms.

BOOMER!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! If you could hear my voice as opposed to read it on your computer screen, you would know that I was singing that line from one of my favorite Christmas songs. But you can't hear me so it's a moo point. You know, like a cow's opinion (Joey Tribiani, anyone?). Of course, I'm not speaking of Christ's not birthday, but of college football.

And tomorrow, our beloved Sooners take the field against the Mean Green of North Texas. I wouldn't feel so bad of the slaughter that will ensue if I didn't like their name so much. Kind of like the Thundering Herd from Marshall. Not enough creative names out there. Anyhow, here's a picture depicting what EDSBS says about tomorrow:

Though the spread is 41, and a lot of people see this as an opportunity to bet on UNT, I'm not so sure. Granted, in recent years, OU has a tendency to play to the level of their competition (at least for a quarter or half) and hasn't always come out of the gate with both guns blazing, but UNT is awful this year. They have the potential to be the worst team in the country. Kings of the Sun Belt no more.

First off, they're breaking in a new coach. Always a dicey proposition. Second, and perhaps more importantly, they have a completely revamped offense. They're leaving behind the punishing ground game that once terrorized the mid-majors for the new hotness of the spread offense (well, it might not be that new anymore, but still, the popular college choice). Allegedly, they will be running a lot of 4 receiver sets, rotating a whopping "at least 9" wide receivers. When you figure in that their leading returning wideout had 14 catches last year, which is more than the combined receptions of the rest of the wideouts on the roster, this is a recipe for disaster. And offensive ineptitude.

In essence, it's not entirely dissimilar to what Bill Calahan did during his first year in Nebraska. Except Nebraska still had some decent running backs, a serviceable line, and an above average defense. UNT has none of these things.

Still, some questions remain. We ourselves, are breaking in a new quarterback. And, I hate to say it, but there a lot of idiot OU fans out there that will be screaming for Keith Nichol if Bradford gets off to a slow start (The Lost Ogle was exactly right in bringing this up). DeMarco Murray has been insane in scrimmages, but it's gametime now. Though I really, REALLY doubt it, we've had players that have blown everyone away until the game's mattered. That said, he's still f*cking awesome. I'm just trying not to get too excited, since the disappointment would lead me to drinking (more). If he hasn't broken a big run by halftime, I'll be very surprised. Enjoy some of his high school and spring game exploits:





At any rate, this game should be a slaughter, and a nice little tune-up for Miami, who I think a lot of people are underestimating, but more on that next week. For more football, feel free to take a peak at the other blog. Well, kids, enjoy the weekend, enjoy the game, and I'll see you all on Campus Corner tomorrow night!

How much do you weigh?! I'm not comfortable answering that right now, I'm still carrying some holiday weight.

I rather enjoy fried goods. Well, rather enjoy is inaccurate. Would lavish the creator of chicken fried steak with flowers, chocolates and unicorns is more like it. I even posted a fried foods mock draft a few months back the other blog.

However, in an effort to not die of a heart attack by the age of 30, I've once again tried to eat a little healthier. Aside from a pizza, one trip to McDonald's and the previously mentioned Taco Bell incident, I've kept my crap food intake to a reasonable minimum. Grilled chicken, baked fish and Lean Pockets are all quite delicious in their own right, you know.

Anyway, I was working at the liquor store last night and started to get hungry, and given that I had a fantasy football brainstorming session (which will be elaborated on next Monday), there would be no time to make myself dinner until after midnight. This was not an option.

I suddenly had the urge to eat some Long John's. Say what you will about the establishment, but holy Christ that batter is amazing. As I've mentioned before, you could put that batter on damn near anything and I would eat it without a second thought. Who cares if the fish itself is of subpar quality (at best) when it's covered in that greasy, golden layer of delicious crunchiness. And hushpuppies. Heaven help me. Coincidentally, I despise cornbread, which is what a hushpuppy is, except fried. This only further proves my theory that everything tastes better fried in tub of fattening oil.

So yes, I went to Long Johns and patiently waited 7 minutes for my treasure chest of deep fried delights. Despite the fact the rat bastard at the window forgot my extra tarter sauce (which is another thing I don't really like, but for some reason I think the Long John's variety is the sh*t), I plowed through it like a homeless man and his half pint of The Shop's finest Kentucky Deluxe.

My mouth and stomach thanked me, even if my ass, belly and thighs are currently refusing to return my calls.